On The Real World Homecoming: New York (not a recap)

Hey! Let’s get the band back together and put on a show! Now, more than ever, we really need it! It’s a global pandemic after all, and we ain’t getting any younger. So, for six days, MTV was able to assemble the original cast of the Real World to reunite and be filmed for six days in (surprise!) the original loft they filmed in back in 1992, thirty fucking years ago. They are all in their 40s and 50s now, and were absolute infants then, ages 19 and up. Heather B snuck in her cat, and Norman snuck in his giant dog. They were kids! People were into social issues! They were trying to make it! And MTV filmed them and you know what happened next. Our country fell into a hole and keeps digging. But that isn’t the original cast of the Real World’s fault. It’s just how the culture came to eat itself. People wanted to be artists then, and not rich influencers! What the hell happened? I can’t say where America went wrong, but let’s catch up with the original Real World cast with The Real World Homecoming: New York.

Well, Kevin has written 14 books, conducted th(re)e definitive interviews(s) with Tupac, and has Dave Chappelle’s respect. And he’s the first one to enter the loft, now fitted out in true, garish, wealthy NYC real estate fashion. Oh, Manhattan. The rich really got richer. Becky is the second to arrive, so they chill for a bit.

Kevin lounges atop the loft kitchen’s marble countertop and marvels at the luxurious layout, asking “What did we have back then? A phone, with a cord that went into the…